Learning

How To Love Your Bully

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In the fall of 2015, I was invited to speak at Juniata College on the topic of my TEDx talk. In my talk, I explain how to die peacefully. During my explication of the method, I usually mention that it’s very important to love the Bully in your soul. For many members of my audiences, […]

The Only Person Who Can Give You The Security And Life You Want Is You

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When people ask me why I write about love and life so much I say it’s because a lot of people are in danger of loving and living unconsciously (myself included). Unconsciousness creates more space for the t/Terrors in love and life to fester, unrecognized and unmediated.  That’s bad for everybody and it’s bad for […]

You Can’t Fix Yourself By Breaking Someone Else

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There’s an implicit and often unspoken tendency to promote standing on the necks of others while climbing out of the pits of love and life. You’ve heard the stories, masked as mantras:   He’s not worth it. She doesn’t deserve you. You’re better than them. They can go to hell. He’s a loser. She’s an […]

Why Being A Happy, Single, Black Woman Means You’re A Revolutionary

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Some time ago I wrote my Open Letter From A Recovering Main Chick. In it, I shared how I am in recovery from a toxic, reactionary lover identity. The Main Chick lover identity is interesting to note. It might be the most desired identity to have and occupy, from the outside looking in. Main Chicks […]

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