Learning

I Know How To Not Bother You

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Early in 2016, I met with the graduate students with whom I work (Wideline Seraphin, Ana Beltran-Diaz, Pauli Badenhorst, Alison Tyler, Angeline Felber, and Mary Higgins).  We were talking about my second book. We’re writing it together. The book is a team effort because the course on which it is based is a team effort. […]

Wow! You Were A Real Slut!

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Several years ago, I was engaged in a conversation with a group of women whom I’d known for a while. There were seven of us at a table in a trendy restaurant in Chicago. We sat talking, over lunch, chatting about what was new…sharing updates: Someone was promoted. Someone was planning a move to a […]

Longing, Pining, Obsessing (And Other Gifts)

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There are so many ways we’re taught to be ashamed of ourselves, especially our interior life. We’re taught to cover up our questions, desires, perceived weaknesses, and struggles. I used to support that stance. I don’t do that anymore because I learned it’s the cover that’s a shame. Instead, I’m down for reveals. Big ones. […]

How Your Lover Identity Gets Built

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  In Open Letter From A Recovering Main Chick, I defined lover identity. I also shared how it gets built, over time. I noted that lover identity develops from childhood. I said it gets built in relation to our parents, siblings, and friends.  I also said it gets built in relation to strangers. Several women […]

Living With Regret (You Don’t Have To Do This)

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There is a man in the world whom I love. He loves me back, though we’re not in love with each other. We didn’t have a chance to fall in love. In our history, the timing, availability, confidence, or consistency was not right enough for us to make anything substantive happen. At various points in […]

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