Life

Wow! You Were A Real Slut!

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Several years ago, I was engaged in a conversation with a group of women whom I’d known for a while. There were seven of us at a table in a trendy restaurant in Chicago. We sat talking, over lunch, chatting about what was new…sharing updates: Someone was promoted. Someone was planning a move to a […]

Longing, Pining, Obsessing (And Other Gifts)

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There are so many ways we’re taught to be ashamed of ourselves, especially our interior life. We’re taught to cover up our questions, desires, perceived weaknesses, and struggles. I used to support that stance. I don’t do that anymore because I learned it’s the cover that’s a shame. Instead, I’m down for reveals. Big ones. […]

How Your Lover Identity Gets Built

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  In Open Letter From A Recovering Main Chick, I defined lover identity. I also shared how it gets built, over time. I noted that lover identity develops from childhood. I said it gets built in relation to our parents, siblings, and friends.  I also said it gets built in relation to strangers. Several women […]

Living With Regret (You Don’t Have To Do This)

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There is a man in the world whom I love. He loves me back, though we’re not in love with each other. We didn’t have a chance to fall in love. In our history, the timing, availability, confidence, or consistency was not right enough for us to make anything substantive happen. At various points in […]

Supremacist Patriarchies Hurt And Kill People. Supreme Love Heals and Saves People.

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How does the cultivation of Supreme Lover Identity speak to/against supremacist patriarchies? There are two important points to remember when understanding the relationship between Supreme Lover Identity and justice movements. The first step involves understanding patriarchies and their effects in/on the Spectrum of Personhood. The second step involves understanding Supreme Love as a radical, indomitable, […]

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