focus

The Only Person Who Can Give You The Security And Life You Want Is You

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When people ask me why I write about love and life so much I say it’s because a lot of people are in danger of loving and living unconsciously (myself included). Unconsciousness creates more space for the t/Terrors in love and life to fester, unrecognized and unmediated.  That’s bad for everybody and it’s bad for […]

You Can’t Fix Yourself By Breaking Someone Else

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There’s an implicit and often unspoken tendency to promote standing on the necks of others while climbing out of the pits of love and life. You’ve heard the stories, masked as mantras:   He’s not worth it. She doesn’t deserve you. You’re better than them. They can go to hell. He’s a loser. She’s an […]

You’re Not Here To Heal Anybody

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Contrary to popular opinion, you’re not here to heal anybody.   I tend to say this often because I’m part of a community of scholars, educators, and coaches who do emotional justice for social justice. There are lots of opportunities to develop a savior complex in this line of work. It’s really easy to do, […]

Why You Need To Mind Your Own Business

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I think we can all agree that many children have otherworldly brilliance. There are examples of this all over the place. My favorite is that of little Rose, who gave her father a piece of sage advice, off the cuff, while she was busy fastening the seatbelt over her carseat. When asked if she needed […]

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