Main Chick

Once Upon A Time, When You Were A Side Chick

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You were deprived.   Hungry. Thirsty. You were in want of food for your body and water for your soul. He seemed to be right on time, bearing gifts, and grins that made the empty parts of you wake up from their slumber. So, you got fed. Finally. Fed. You got filled up. Finally full. […]

Learn Your Lover Identity

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Lover identity is a person’s entire relational ideology and being. It’s a key concept in life and love.     Here are the five toxic, reactionary lover identities I found in my research with Black women:     Main Chick – You are a leader. You run the show. You are an overachiever and accustomed […]

Open Letter From a Recovering Main Chick

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Remember when Victor Cruz’s fiance sent a catch-all text message to his Side Chicks? A few people sent me the story, along with a bunch of LOLs and SMHs. I totally got the humor, I just couldn’t laugh. Why? Because, I used to be a Main Chick too. I spent years in often painful “monogamous” […]

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