The Only Person Who Can Give You The Security And Life You Want Is You

When people ask me why I write about love and life so much I say it’s because a lot of people are in danger of loving and living unconsciously (myself included). Unconsciousness creates more space for the t/Terrors in love and life to fester, unrecognized and unmediated.  That’s bad for everybody and it’s bad for the planet. So, like a lot of people, I am committed to being consistent in consciousness. Right now, I’m figuring out new ways to love and live consciously, as my life is changing in a dozen ways. This commitment helps me to stabilize the boundaries I have established in my career as a scholar, educator, and coach. It helps me to incorporate boundaries into my personal life as well. This is some of what it means to have integrity with my core, fidelity with my word, and credibility with my Self.


This integrity, fidelity, and credibility are very important. Their importance cannot be overstated.


The work I’m doing to build these attributes in myself, for myself, and by myself are happening through my proficiency in #SupremeLove. This is all about Self knowledge  and Self actualization through intricate awareness of my fragmented selves. That means as I continue to learn all my parts deeply, and love myself in pieces, I gather more leverage and more momentum to do anchored ascendency. Anchored ascendency is about digging deep roots for my stability and central point of orientation while also cultivating broad, high, expansive branches in Love and Life. It’s about going deeper and going higher AT THE SAME TIME.


Practicing Supreme Love also helps me to gather more stamina to do this work (because it can be difficult and arduous to realize real time and life-long effects). Anchored ascendency is the work of deep excavations of my soul, broad treatments for my body, and high advancements as a spirit. See? When you do #SupremeLoving, your whole Spectrum of Personhood is covered, included, and activated. #Amen And I don’t just WANT this kind of wholeness…to be bigger, brighter, stronger, lighter, clearer, and more abundant in my love, faith, and peace.

I NEED #SupremeLove…to be conscious and whole in my Self, to be able to partner compassionately with Others, and to understand clearly how I am purposed to participate in global healing and salvation.

So do you. You need #SupremeLove too.



Because the only person who can give you the security and life you want is you.


I’ll say that again.


The only person who can give you the security and life you want is you.


One more time, for good measure.


The only person who can give you the security and life you want is you.


This doesn’t mean that no one else is dependable. It means no one else is responsible. It doesn’t mean no one else is capable (which is only about ability). It means no one else is able (which is about ability + power + authority). There will be people who like and love you. Yet, none of those people can live in your skin and walk your walk or talk your talk FOR you. They can only walk this walk WITH you. Your walk and your talk are ON you.

That’s a lot of prepositions.

And all this may seem scary because you may not see yourself as able to give yourself the security and life you want. You may feel like a loser, an idiot, a weakling, an unworthy, unfinished, unloveable person.

If you do, I understand why you feel that way.

I too have felt that way.

Before I learned #SupremeLove…to accept it, to model it, to cultivate it, to build it, to share it…so that I can learn how I really am able….I didn’t know how to see that I really am fully and already endowed with the power I need.

::: To hear my own voice affirming me.

::: To feel my own power rise up in me.

::: To see my “enemies” as blessings, as my brothers, my sisters, my family in humanity.

::: To cooperate with my Creator and heal myself from the inside out and outside in.

::: To generate the security and life that I want.

::: To co-create with God a vision that’s even higher than my original desires.

::: To believe, wholeheartedly, that I am everything.

::: All things.

::: So I can do everything.

::: All things.

::: And I can have everything.

::: All things.


I’m not telling you this to elevate myself or invoke some kind of inadvertent shame (which is what this message might trigger if you happen to be feeling like crap right now). I’m telling you this, on this day, in my part of the world, as a just in case.

Just in case you’re caught in a spin and don’t see a way out, you can use this message as a flag.


I’m waving a flag!!!!!!!


I don’t have to know you, what has happened to you, what you’ve done, or where you are to know that you’re able. All I need to know is that you’re here, reading this, making a commitment that is built up with habit, to try again. You’re doing it right now. You’re demonstrating ability, even if it’s a baby’s jerky, random arm wave. Even if it’s a toddler’s steps forward. You’re doing it.

You only need more time, space, and practice doing #SupremeLove. You’re not incompetent, untrustworthy, or exempt from the Love and Life you want. You can learn how life is not happening to you, it’s happening through you. You can learn how to heal the dis-ease and dis-order in the Spectrum of your Personhood so that the prism of beliefs, agreements, energies, and convictions that comprise your interior life and are building your exterior life, can be healed and properly ordered. You can bless your pain body and illuminate your shadow effect. You can become cohered so that Love and Life can flow through you as a healthy instrument of peace and power, producing more of the Highest Self through you, an aspect of The Most High.

#ActuallyYouCan You’re #TheOnlyPersonWhoCan So start today. Notice what you do well. Praise yourself for coming out of that hole. Cheer yourself on for doing no contact, even when it’s been one hour. Congratulate yourself for your yoga, prayer, meditation, or workout. Say “yes” and “thank you” for the frailties and failures you perceive. Practice being your own parent, partner, and best friend. Regardless of any “mistakes” you think you’ve made, you’ve already done innumerable things “right” and well. Yes. You have. Yes. You did. Yes, you’re able.


Yes. I’m sure.




#ActuallyYouCan You’re #TheOnlyPersonWhoCan #SupremeLoversUnite #GetSome #LetsAllGetFree #Amen

Jeanine Staples is Associate Professor of Literacy and Language, African American Studies, & Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies at the Pennsylvania State University. Her book, The Revelations of Asher: Toward Supreme Love in Self, is an endarkened, feminist, new literacies event (Peter Lang, 2016). In it, she explores Black women’s t/Terror in love. She produces research-based courses and methodologies that enable marginalized girls and women to realize internal revelations that fuel external revolutions.

Dr. Staples’ next book details the evolution of her acclaimed undergraduate course, The Philadelphia Urban Seminar. In it, she explores Supreme Love in schools. She shows how she generates curriculum and methodologies that incite anti-racist, anti-sexist, anti-ableist pedagogical stances among teachers interested in urban education and equity for all people in schools and society.


Click here to join the Supreme Love Project group to ask Jeanine questions and comment on the blog.